So I’ve been blogging for a while now, and I’ve accidentally gone from blogging two to three times a week down to about once a week. And I’ll blame it on the fact that I started making youtube videos three times a week and how much time that takes up, except I don’t make youtube videos all three days every single week because, well, I failed at keeping up that schedule as well. I haven’t even had a lot of class, and I hardly leave my room, and I’ve barely written anything for my book since I started it. Where is my time even going?
Admittedly, a more than average amount of it is going to sleeping. My sleep schedule is rather irregular and usually involves me laying in bed for hours before I actually fall asleep, and then I fall asleep so late that I sleep in way too late. And of course with the darkness now, when you wake up an hour or two before the sun sets, it doesn’t feel pertinent to leave your flat or do much of anything.
I have these big goals that I feel passionate about completing but absolutely zero motivation to work on them now. I’m on exchange for crying out loud, and I’m only 20 years old, I should be more active than this! As it is I’m only really making this blog post to procrastinate writing an essay I’ve been putting off all day. So much for finishing in time for a movie night tomorrow…
There was this simultaneous collapse of motivation and halt of progress with gaining viewers and readers on my videos and blog posts, and now I don’t even think I know how to live a productive life. I swear I’ve done it once. Have I always been such a genuinely lazy person?? Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?? And why am I having one when I’m TWENTY??
So of course now I’ve just simultaneously rambled to you all lovely folks and motivated myself a bit to go outside and be active, except it’s midnight here and I have an essay to write, which I’ll probably look at for about ten minutes before going back to watching youtube videos and checking celebrities tweets. My sincerest apologies for being an overall shit blogger and boring person at the moment. In my small way, I am trying, promise. I will get over this bump in the road.
Hope you’re all doing better than I am.