If the point of this series is to record genuine human emotion, then that is the only point of blogging today. You don’t want to read about me not at my best, and the post I had planned for today that had nothing to do with my lack of emotional well-being, well, I didn’t plan well enough to get up in time, and I’m too busy to do it later.
So no, I’m not doing well. I know it’s a phase and it’ll pass and I’m just stressing myself out way too much but wow am I angry these days. I spent all of yesterday in my room because I didn’t even want to see my roommates, and I’m still upset that I heard them talk about me when they went to bed, even though it wasn’t anything bad. It was enough to bother me. I didn’t want to see people. I didn’t want to be talked about. I wanted to be entirely left alone.
Mental health problems are a bitch. I shouldn’t be posting this on a blog I could use for future professional purposes but this is a personal blog first and foremost, and on top of that, if I can help remove the stigma around mental health issues in my professional life, I would feel highly successful.
You see, one of my best friends is in a similar boat as me: one bad situation snapped something within her and now she’s got pretty awful anxiety. She’s been talking about it a lot lately, and how embarrassed she feels. She feels embarrassed. About anxiety. And like there’s a stigma around it. And doctors don’t believe it. And we’re in Canada, one of the nicest countries in the world.
I can’t really blame her for feeling embarrassed after hearing that her doctor didn’t want to prescribe her anything for her anxiety, but I don’t like that she’s embarrassed. I don’t like it for her and I don’t like it for me, because if she’s embarrassed does she think I should be embarrassed? Because I’m not.
Repeat after me: your mental state is nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with what you’re feeling. You are not alone and you can work through this.
I know I’m not alone. I know that my problems are minute in the grand scale of things and I know that I’ll get over it. I’m not doing enough for that to work, because I’m pushing it aside more than dealing with it head-on, but that’s for me to figure out and work through.
We live in Canada, and 20% of people in Canada are affected my mental illness. Here are some other facts on mental illness in Canada: http://www.cmha.ca/media/fast-facts-about-mental-illness/#.VjExc7erTIU
I hope if you suffer from any sort of mental illness you aren’t ashamed. It’s nothing to be ashamed for. Please seek help, because it is out there for a reason.
Hope you’re doing well. x.